Quicky

What do you get if you put a baby in a liquidiser?

An erection.

Quicky

A man and a little girl walking through an eerie dark wood.
"I’m scared.” Said the little girl.
“How do you think I feel, I have to walk out of here on my own.”

Little Timmy's Christmas

Little Timmy and slightly older brother Jimmy are opening their presents on Christmas morning, When Timmy open his final present to see a brand new shinny toy fire engine.

He says to Jimmy “Look what I got Jimmy, it’s all shinny and red and got little men in it and when you run it across the floor the fire bell really rings. It better than anything YOU got.”

So Jimmy replies, “Yer, Well least I haven’t got cancer.”

Happy Families

An expectant Husband late runs in to a hospital ward. Breathless he final finds the ward where his wife was staying. Just to find, a Nurse approaching him with a little baby in her arms, and says, “It’s a beautiful baby girl”. Suddenly then she drop kicks it to the Doctor on the other side of the room, who whacks it with a stool so that it explodes into pieces and it head lands in bin.

“Na only kidding it was a cot death”